↠ If you clicked on this in hopes of filling your heart up with Sappy quotes about how traveling was life-changing and all that other bullsh*t? Yeah, this isn’t that kind of thing.
I’ve been globe-bopping for a handful of years, and, like anyone else, have overheard my fair share of interesting, ridiculous, and funny tidbits. I decided to log them in the notes section of my phone to eventually share in a post such as this. Now seems like an appropriate time…because we could all use a few minutes of humor.
Shout out to all the people that I unintentionally (well, mostly) eavesdropped on. Especially you, Karen.
Time: 5:52 am
Place: Albany, New York
Quote:
“Either I’m gettin’ fatter, or these seats are getting smaller.”
Preach, Jason.
Time: 9:15 am
Place: Atlanta, Georgia
Quote:
“I brought you that granola bar and you didn’t even say thank you. You can’t have a burger for breakfast.”
Who made you the breakfast police, Janet.
Time: 10:13 am
Place: Old Man of Storr, Isle of Skye, Scotland
Quote:
“Is that the old man…or is that the old man?”
Asking for a friend.
Voila, the Old Man.
Time: 6:01 am
Place: Albany Airport, NY (taxi-ing for take off)
Quote:
(Exasperated Mom to flight attendant while her toddler is being exorcised by the actual devil.)
“Is it too early for a drink?”
It’s like you read my mind, Stephanie.
Time: 9:29 am
Place: Atlanta airport, Georgia
Quote:
“Welp, I forgot my steel toed shoes, so that’s annoying.”
Welp, sh*t, Todd, now what’s going to match your belt buckle?
Time: 10:01 am
Place: Breakfast room at Hotel Føroyar, Faroe Islands
Quote:
(to be read in a hungover Irish accent)
“the f**k time we go to bed at?”
Sounds like you didn’t, bud. Cheers.
Time: 8:44 am
Place: San Diego Airport, California
Quote:
(About to board the plane, lady in front of me runs to grab something.)
“Doris, we’re not gonna wait for you.”
Ain’t nobody got time for that, Doris.
Time: 3:04 pm
Place: Denver International Airport bathroom
Quote:
Lady #1: “What a mess!”
Lady #2: “I know, imagine what their house looks like!”
Boom, ROASTED.
Time: 3:25 pm
Place: St. Marks Basilica, Venice, Italy
Quote:
(In a lonnnng line.)
“I thought we had a fast pass like Disney Land.”
Says the guy in a palm tree shirt and adidas track shirt. Classic.
Time: 4:08 pm
Place: Newark International Airport
Quote:
Mom of teen: “Look at the dog in the stroller.”
Teen: “I’m not sure if that’s sad or adorable. * pause * It’s sadorable.”
Helluva word morph, Jennifer.
Time: 9:13am
Place: Albany International Airport
Quote:
(Over the loudspeaker.)
“Will the person who left a hat at security that says, ‘ask your mother’ please come claim it.”
10 bucks says it’s the guy with the mullet in line at Chick-fil-A.
**(NOTHING against Chick-fil-A…love me some nuggies. Also mullets, they’re cool too.)
Time: 5:15 am
Place: Albany to D.C. flight
Quote:
(Lady behind me.)
“I can’t believe I forgot to load all my Rod Stewart onto my MP3 player.”
You probably left it in 1992, Karen.